Dunia sudah terbalik - A Relationship Paradigm

Dunia emang sudah kebalik gak karuan, ato mungkin orang-orang nganggepnya itu normal tapi cara pandang gue yg  terbalik dari mereka punya. No wonder, I don’t want to compromise to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Nah, sekarang coba liat sendiri, bener gak dunia ini sudah upside-down downside-up gak karuan regarding relationship: 
 

Unmarried couples keep having sex, while married couples stop having one.

Unmarried couple (yg baru pacaran doank) banyak mengumbar romantisme (baik physical maupun emotional lewat kata, such as “i love u, miss u, need u, want u, etc.”), sementara married couple malah diem-dieman, dingin-dinginan, no more flame.

Angka perceraian kian meningkat, even a christian couple is not fireproof. 

And the world said, that's common, that's normal. 

That's insane!! I’m not an expert on this, and I am not experienced either. But gue prihatin dgn kenyataan seperti ini. Is it impossible to have a godly, sincere, pure relationship and a happy marriage life? Is it impossible to have a relationship without involving any premature intimacy? Gue yakin, it’s not impossible. Selama kita menempatkan Tuhan right in His place, no.1 in our hearts, keep listening to Holy Spirit’s guidance, menjaga jalan2 kita sesuai FirmanNya, pasti bisa koq.

Banyak orang berpikir bahwa masa pacaran adalah waktu utk mengexplore, cocok ato gak. Kalo gak cocok ya ganti. Emang bener sih mengeksplore, tapi bukan mengeksplore physical or emotional intimacy, karena komitmen yg dijalani belom pantes utk dpt reward intimacy ke arah situ. Explore lah friendship kalian, deepen it, be a bestfriend for each other, and treat him/her as a brother/sister in Christ with absolute purity. And the most important thing is....pursue God together, seek first His kingdom and righteousness. Do not seek first what would satisfy you. Intimacy is a reward for commitment.

Advice buat cewek-cewek nih terutama, don’t give your heart to soon to a man whom you like, even if you’re already on a date with him. Belum tentu juga lu bakal merit ama dia, meskipun sekarang lu kayaknya yakin banget bakal merit ama dia. Who knows what would happen tomorrow. Yang penting tetep jaga hati dgn segala kewaspadaan, keep it sincere.“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”.  That’s the warning we read several times in Song of Songs.

Cewek biasanya luluh hanya dengan kata-kata. So, be careful...., although you’ve thought that he is the one, don’t let yourself loose control hanya dengan kata-kata manisnya. Dan sebaliknya, kita cewek-cewek jangan juga mengumbar kata-kata mesra yang gak seharusnya. Meskipun efeknya di pihak pria gak sedalem kalo ke cewek sih. Relationship is not about  how often he/she says I love you, I want you, I need you, I can’t live without you, etc. It is building intimacy in a spiritual level. Emotion can be deceptive , jadi jangan biarkan perasaan mengontrol pokiranmu. Mind your words, if you don’t want to regret it someday.

Ada lagi syndrom berbahaya yg gue amati. Kalo udah tiap hari lu gak bisa berhenti mikirin dia, dan hanya diaaa terus yg ada di pikiran lu, there must be something wrong, you have been too consumed with your relationship. Find contentment only in God’s presence.

That’s all for now. Gue berencana nulis soal syndrome of a defective relationship, tapi kayaknya mau research dulu, hehehe. God bless you all.

-I write this as a reminder for myself as well if one day I’m in a relationship-